we can’t see the future, we can’t predict the future definitively, but we can decide how we want to build our future, we can decide what we want for our future. it’s all a matter of choice.

while i can say with much confidence how my career will be like looking ahead, i can’t help but feel a little lost about my personal life. well, maybe “a little” is an understatement.

And so this post with the two paragraphs above have been in the draft for two days. Today it’s the eve of the new year, and the instinctive natural just look back into 2013, and it come a year in review.

If I ever have my own biography right, the year 2013 itself definitely deserve one whole chapter to itself. For days, I was trying to figure out what really make this year so special, and what really changed me. Then I realise this year, I finally understood one feeling. It’s a feeling no one want to experience, yet it hits everyone so naturally and stick with them so long people always say, only time.

Pain.

I understood the pain of losing, for losing so much constantly for months is such a feeling that words cannot comprehend.
I understood the pain of want, the tortures you put yourself through to make sure you deliver.
I understood the pain of loving, how entragled emotions can make or destory a pperson.

There are definitely going to be plenty more painful days, months or even years. But now I know definitively that pain isn’t going to kill me. Because it’s only going to make me stronger and better.

Everything that kills me make me feel alive.

I am grateful for the people who came into my life, to give me pain. The people who came into my life to help me through these pain. And the people who are there as these pain heals.

2014, it isn’t going to be the moments, but the people that I meet and the people that are there that’s going to matter. Cheers to a delightfully painful year.

🙂