just home from tomb sweeping. it’s a routine every year, but its something i pay much respect to.
first to my dad’s father’s urn at the cck columbarium, then to my dad’s mum’s grave before ending the day at my mum’s dad’s grave.
i never met my grandfather (dad’s father) before, he passed on before i was born, don’t have much memories of my grandma (dad’s mum), we wasn’t close, but i remember her.

but whenever i think about my gong gong (mum’s dad), i always get very emotional. my heart is always tearing, and sometimes i tear.
it’s almost 10 years since he have passed on, but it’s really almost like yesterday when it happen. I remember my mum calling me when i was in school, telling me about it.
how i didn’t knew how to react to the news, found a corner and just cried. how i remember him and miss him.
i ain’t really sure we i have such deep emotional attachment with gong gong. we weren’t really close. i remember when i was just a little kid, he used to smoke, and how i will always steal his packet of cigarettes and throw it away. the whole family don’t like him smoking, which he eventually manage to quit, although i got no memories at all how it happen.

it just brings back many little little memories i have with him every time i think of him.

today, i found myself in front of his grave, praying for his blessing and telling gong gong i love him.

I miss gong gong. By my standard, his death was tragic, and very sadly, we wasn’t at his side when he passed on. He fall and stroke, while waiting for a haircut nearby.

Come to think of it, my ah ma (dad’d mum) died at a car accident, and no one knew until days have passed. It’s sad, it’s tragic.

It always make me think about death. How vulnerable we are to life, that we are actually this weak. That’s the day before something that change your entire life is actually just another ordinary day.

I just finished watching the first season of <>. When I first started on this drama, I seriously wasn’t expecting much. And was almost afraid that’s a boring drama which I will skip after a few episode. I don’t even know why they have so many episode for a story like this.

But it just keep getting better. To me, it’s about life, love and family. How important these are to everyone, and that we should never, never take anything for granted.

I slowly realise that my definition of love is changing bit by bit everyday. It’s almost like, I need meet that someone again before I can really define love again.

I love writing randomly, probably irks many how I jump front one para to another without proper continuity. Hey! This is my blog. I decide how I write it.

Treasure life, live it well, live it happy.